Something We Agree On
by Thiing1
Summary: Caruso and Buzz can't agree on anything. As Caruso is writing his autobiography, he obviously can't seem to express enough how much that he and Buzz are polar opposites. Will they ever agree on anything? (non-slash) I don't own Dino Squad. If I did, I would give myself the ability to turn into a dinosaur at will. I can't, however, so I don't.
1. Intro: The Autobiography of Irwin Caruso

*The events DIDNT really happen*

Autobiography of Irwin Caruso ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yes! Its me, Irwin Caruso! And this an autobiography of my young adult life! Written as a young adult so I wont forget one FABULOUS moment, that you, my adoring public would want to know about! Yes, I know who you are, because, I mean, who could blame anyone for wanting to know about ME? I'm sure that once I'm famous everybody will already know about how prehistoric, crazy heroic, and absolutely gorgeous I was (and still am) so I wont miss a detail on that part of my life either. But enough about me, although I COULD go on forever, but lets talk about my team, the Dino Squad.

I'm going to start with Buzz, he was the pterodactyl and, you know, we were team mates and friends (and hopefully still are), but sometimes, he would be so ANNOYING. There are many, many things that have opposites... and Buzz and I are two of them. We are black and white, dirty and clean, hot and cold, etc. The next few chapters/stories will illustrate my meaning. These events really happened.


	2. Black and White

Black and white:

"No way are you getting me to wear a fancy white tux, dude. No freaking way." Neil Buzzmarti looked up from the black leather suit he was thinking about and gave me a killer glare, and from a guy that looked the way that he did it had the effect he was hoping for. Or so he thought. I momentarily paused thinking, _'Okay.. SCARY!... yet, STILL undaunted!"_ As this last stubborn thought passed through my mind, my confidence came back.

"Come on, Buzz! You'd look good in a Dazzle White tuxedo! I mean, its got chic written all over it! Don't you want to look as fabulous as I do at the PROM?" I shot what I thought to be an award winning smile, but Buzz shot me a dirty look back. "I don't DO white Caruso. You KNOW that." I shuddered, thinking of my beautiful white polo jacket with the massive, hideous, red spaghetti stain on it. Buzz had apologized multiple times for that and I had forgiven him... eventually. It had been my favorite jacket ever since the that had been one chomped on by sharks. I quickly changed my line of thinking. _'AHA!'_ I thought smirking, realizing there was no need for fear this time around for the white clothing dilemma that was bound to happen, _'THIS time if he destroys it, it wont be my clothes he's destroying. It would be his OWN.'_ I was satisfied with the solution I came up with and prepared to make a defense with Buzz when I heard him continue, saying, "And YOU cant make me." He crossed his arms, the black leather suit still in his hands. Hm. Challenge accepted.

Soon, I was chasing Buzz across the mall white tux in one hand, and the other hand outstretched, grabbing for Buzz as he was in a freak out "ain't-no-way-are-you-gonna-even-TOUCH-me-with-that-no-way" type of run. The rest of the team watched a while (some, namely Roger, watched longer then the others) until they finally went back to their own pre-prom shopping.


	3. Day and Night

It was six in the morning when we all got called into a mission including a Parasaurolophus roaming the city pond. I didn't see the big deal in what seemed to be a larger-sized version of Ducky from The Land Before Time, but since I am ALWAYS amazingly helpful and strong I decided to go along.

When I showed up at the place we decided to meet (the city hall was closer than the lighthouse in this case, so we picked somewhere else to meet) I looked at my team members who all looked like they had JUST crawled out of bed. I mean, they looked AWFUL. I tried not to laugh, but failed only slightly. Roger wasn't THAT bad, Max looked like he just had a tough football match and lost, Fiona looked like The Grudge, and Buzz looked... asleep. Yeah, Buzz was asleep on his feet.

"HEY," I firmly shook Neil awake, "You look like you all just woke up from the dead, are you okay?"

"How are YOU so chipper?" Grumbled Fiona.

"I WOKE UP like this," I stated proudly. I didn't care if they believed it or not. Mornings just weren't that hard for me. And I told them so. After all, how would I make sure I look perfect for my day if I only had an hour to be ready? I was awake before I was even called. It took me five more minutes to finish my hair and rush out the door. Still, if I hadn't been awake before that I would have had to rush out with bedhead! Oh, the HORROR!

'Yeah well, staying up until two in the AM beating my high score is more my style," slurred Buzz, still half asleep.

"Yes, and look at you now," I counselled him.

"Heh, worth iiiiiitt..."

Annnnnd he was asleep again.


	4. Dirty and Clean

"Welcome to my humble abode." Buzz looked at me as I walked up to the house he shared with his mother. "Not bad." I said, examining the walls. Buzz waited and watched me as if he thought I was going to criticize something. I merely shrugged back at him. (What?! His house has a very nice, old fashioned, yet still IN fashion, American Foursquare look about it.) Then, after a while of just staring at me and waiting Buzz finally turned back towards the door, bent down, picked up one of those little garden ornaments that look like real animals (I'm not going to tell you which one in the case he still has it there), turned it upside down, pulled a little almost invisible drawer on the underside of the ornament, and took a spare key out of it to unlock the door. He unlocked it and walked inside. I was confused that he had to let himself in and I mentioned it, and his answer was that his mom was probably asleep, because she does all the housework and her health isn't always the greatest, and his dad works from nine in the AM to ten at night during weekdays and then sleeps, eats, and broods the rest of the time. I winced. Obvious resentment was in his voice. I decided to keep quiet on that seemingly sore subject... for now.

As I followed Buzz to his room, I was thinking about why I was even HERE, but I couldn't think straight. All I could think about was, _'I'm not being babysat. I don't CARE what mom and dad say about leaving me home alone again,_ (Best. Party. Ever. I'll HAVE to tell you about it sometime. I have no regrets.) _but I deny the fact that I am being babysat.'_ About then I walked into Buzz's room and took a step back. His room was a MESS! I am not staying in filth. Buzz saw the look on my face and cleared off the spare bed. (All he did was sweep all the junk on it off with his arm onto the floor.) I hardened my expression. NO. I draw the line here. Buzz could see I wasn't budging and his face took on the same hardened expression. "Look." He said surprising calm, "If you don't like it, you fix it. You're staying here, because I'm the only one on the team with a spare bed in his bedroom, except for Fiona and you KNOW Ms. Moynihan wouldn't have let you stay there. So either deal with it, fix it, or sleep on the floor," at that Buzz flopped down onto his own bed in a way that said he was NOT moving. I glared at the thought of ME, Irwin Caruso cleaning someone else's bedroom like... like... some sort of MAID, but I knew how stubborn Buzz could be, so I thought over my options.

And that's the REAL story about how Neil Buzzmarti had a clean room for once in his life, free of charge, no matter WHAT he tells you


	5. Hot and Cold

"We get to go on a VACATIOOON!" I was SO ecstatic at the chance to go on a "mission" that was out of the country! And we get to PICK one! Half of the team is going to one place, half to the other. One in the Caribbean and the other in Alaska! Like, DUH. Sure, I got stuck with Buzz and Fiona.. But WHO CARES?! We were going on a trip! What was I going to pack? Sunscreen, sunglasses, and oh! I was definitely going to need my swimsuit! I don't care if the party-poopers think we wouldn't have time. I would MAKE time to take a dip in the luxurious waters of the..

"We should totally go to Alaska dude. It would be so cool with the polar bears, icebergs, big guys with freaky beards, and everything!" Buzz grinned a goofy grin. OH NO. Absolutely NOT. Then I heard Fiona (gag me) AGREEING with him. "Yeah," Fiona actually sounded (gulp) SERIOUS about this, "It may also give us the chance to work on our abilities under the extreme cold, maybe we can start building a bit of an immunity by taking the plunge." Oh god, I hope she didn't mean that LITTERALY. Nonononono! This needed to be ended, like, before it started!

"There is NO WAY I am going to a barren wasteland just to freeze my dino-tail off!" I piped up quickly before they made the decision on their own, "BESIDES.. I hear the Caribbean is beautiful this time of year. In fact, I hear its beautiful ALL the year! Let's go there!" I'll admit I was semi-begging.. But do you BLAME me?

Fiona and Buzz talked a bit about it, and then discussed it with the rest of the team. I felt like I could be biting my nails, I was so nervous. Of course, I would NEVER (bad for the manicure), but I was THAT on edge.

When Buzz and Fiona returned and Buzz looked slightly.. constipated.. I KNEW my brand new set of summertime, swimwear clothes were going to make an appearance.


	6. In and Out

"Ugh, I am SO bored!" I complained as loud as my voice would allow. You wouldn't think that waiting around for some stupid blip (that may not even exist) to pop up on a screen would be boring.. (I rolled my eyes dramatically while I wrote that part), but it is DREADFULLY monotonous. I surveyed the room in the lighthouse as NOBODY came over to entertain me. I pouted. I guess it was up to me again to fill these people's ever so DULL lives.

"LET'S ALL GO TO A CLUB!" I suddenly shouted, causing a couple people to start. This was a GREAT idea! We could go out for a while, party, eat nachos, and meet some people! It wasn't the most CULTURED thing there was to do, but even I, Irwin Caruso, indulged sometimes. Besides, this seemed to catch Fiona's attention who readily agreed. Roger looked doubtful, but he conceded as well. Max couldn't care less, but agreed to go if everyone else did. It was, Neil Buzzarti, of course, who had something to say about it.

"Nah, I'm not one for 'going out'. I'm a 'stay in', lay around, watch Netflix, play video games, and eat pizza kinda guy," he shrugged off any of my objections in favor of staying here to play video games and laze around. This of course, disgusted me to the HIGHEST of degrees, but there was nothing I could do about it. Once Buzz has his heart set on something.. NOTHING can take it away.

Unless...

Soon Buzz was waiting at the door of the lighthouse impatiently waiting to go. I smirked at the sight. Funny what a promise of free pizza can do.


	7. Something We Agree On

Slumber-party was a SUCCESS! We had snacks, sang karaoke (which I was AMAZING at), played games, gossiped (okay, that was mostly me, but they listened), and overall we had a good time. Then again, we had the party at the lighthouse and NOT at my parents house this time. Thankfully, Ms. Moynihan had had a full-fledged bathroom installed, which included a shower, which if NEIL BUZZMARTI had not been HOGGING it all morning nobody would have had to see my bedhead. The SHAME! THE SHAME!

I pounded on the bathroom door as I heard singing (was that a Nickel back song?) and I started to grow more and more agitated. The others had given up on trying to get him out of there, and had opted for playing more Apples to Apples while they waited. HOWEVER, I can't just be FORCED to wait for a third-grade shower! If I had to wait to take a shower, why couldn't it be a gorgeous bath and spa? BESIDES, my hair was not getting any more beautiful while I waited.

Finally, FINALLY I heard the shower turn off. I felt like cheering.. and crying.. mostly crying. So, as the others played more card games, I continued my wait. After a while of silence (which is odd for someone like Buzz) I heard a mumbled, "crap...where is...ugh.." More time passed with just silence filling the gaps. By now, the others had grown bored of playing and had heard this too. (Remember to tell Ms. Moynihan that the bathroom has too thin of walls.) I jumped a bit, when all of a sudden I heard Buzz yell out.. to.. me? "Hey Caruso! Do me a favor will ya?" Buzz yelled. I walked over to the door so he didn't have to scream whatever it was across the room, because what if it had been embarrassing? I'm such a good friend.

I listened to what Buzz had to say, and I had to say I got a bit of a kick out of it. Still, never to let someone have something THAT terrible happen to them when I could have helped, I walked over to my backpack, pulled something out, and brought it back to the bathroom where I handed it to Buzz through a crack in the door.

I watched the others in amusement as pure confusion was on every last person's face. I smiled to myself, and I thought, shaking my head, ' _How could it be? That out of EVERYTHING... the fact that we both need HAIR GEL just to function would be_

something we agree on?'


End file.
